Enduring The Dating Game

If you asked my what my most favorite and least favorite thing at BYU Idaho is I would answer, "dating." It is the most enjoyable and the most stressful. It is anticipation and dread. It is simple and complicated. It pretty much is the best thing ever. It also pretty much sucks.

Let me enlighten you.

Dating is supposed to be fun and lighthearted. It should not be such a big deal. People have put so much pressure into dating that when you start overthinking it, which totally happens, it's no longer fun because the guidelines for dating have become so unclear that you don't know if he wants to marry you or if you are just going as friends. I have met girls that refuse to go on a date with a guy unless he's "marriage material." I have met girls that are sure the guy wants to marry her just because he asked her on a date. We really need to relax here!

I believe it is important to date just for the sake of dating. And I'm not talking about hanging out. A date should be planned, paid for, and paired off. A date can be casual. I love casual dates. Just yesterday I went on a date where we played on a playground, had dinner, and watched a soccer game. It was great. Seriously.

The other problem with dating up here is that instead of going from dating to courtship to engaged to married, people are skipping the dating stage. Outside of the Rexburg bubble people are skipping the married stage as well. Instead of going on dates with someone and getting to know them they instantly jump into steady dating (courtship). And then, they "date 'em til they hate 'em." It happens all the time. I've even done it. It sucks. And it's not worth it. Just keep it simple.

Cohabitating has become ever more popular in the world. At first social scientist thought that it was a great way to "practice marriage." Over the years they have found that if couples cohabit they are more likely to get divorced. This would explain in part why the divorce rate has increased exponentially since the 1970s.

It's important to intentionally go through the steps of dating, courtship, engagement, marriage, as opposed to just sliding along, one to the other. The more you jump into a relationship and breakup the more you are training yourself to get your heart broken. Not cool. Just like life, dating is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.